No fear but plenty of loathing
July 28th, in the afternoon : we leave Cedar City and our great couchsurfing hosts. We head off for the Grand Canyon but choose to take the scenic route through Zion national park. We hiked in Zion yesterday but we want take the road through the park and the tunnel.
Construction delays us and we get to north rim just before dark. I was expecting grand canyon to be arid, red, hot, crowded. It was quite the opposite. To get to north rim we drive through woods and meadows, the sky is gray and there are occasional rain drops. On the way we pass a herd of bison grazing in a meadow. There are very few cars on the road and the only sign of civilisation near the park is the town of Jacob Lake that consists of a gas station and a lodge. When we reach the canyon there’s a nice old hotel inthe edge, lush forest like vegetation, and an amazing landscape of red cliffs with green bushes and trees hanging on the sides. We are there just before dark and the scenery is especially breathtaking. We make our way up to Point Imperial and enjoy the view of the canyon from almost 9000 feet high.
By the time we are ready to go it is dark and I decide to try driving at night even though my learners permit forbids it. There are no other cars on the road anyway. From grand canyon our next stop is Las Vegas and I can’t expect Stephen to drive the whole way, experience the city and then drive us out of it on no sleep. I drive half the way to Vegas, three hours of desert highway to St George, Utah.
In St George we look for food and pull off in a closed down gas station to look at a map. It is one in the morning on July 29th. Just as I am about to go pee in the bushes a cop car pulls up and two of St George’s finest come out for a chat. While a nice and helpful but slightly stupid cop helps Stephen with directions back to I 15 and goes through our food options with him I am left with boneheaded Mormon Nazi Officer Pitcher. So here we go, no we don’t have anything illegal and no we don’t smoke weed. He looms surprised and takes in a big whiff of the night air. That’s when I realize that a skunk must have pissed in the bushes, the air is heavy with the musky scent that emanates from either skunks, weed or my armpits on a bad day. Once we get drugs out of the way he asks about the shiny knife hanging from my belt in plain view. Well officer Pitcher, we’ve been camping and living in the woods so yes I do have a knife on me. I am used to being a suspicious marginal because I hitchhike, because I brush my teeth in unusual settings, or because I look dirty or weird but now officer Pitcher is freaking out because I shoot film. Yes sir my film canister contains exposed film! I show him my camera and after that he relaxes a little bit and tries to act as if he’s not completely outraged by the idea that two young men have better things to do than get married and hold a full time job.
We drive off to our only food option : Denny’s. After a strange meal and a lot of coffee we get on I15 south. We are completely hopped up on caffeine as we cross into Nevada and see the trashy sprawl of Mesquite. Hired girls, slots, booze, humans. All things that were scarce or non existant in southern Utah.
Soon we are driving down a hill into a sea of orange lights, low to the ground and identical. In the middle there are a few tall buildings. It is four in the morning and the thermometer on a billboard says 95 degrees.
We park behind the Excalibur, and go in for some gambling. It’s almost 5 am on a weekday in low season , the place is mostly empty, most tables are closed. Here and there I see people playing slot machines, everyone is in here alone. At the few open tables the croupiers are loitering and we decide to try our luck at roulette. Steve, from Hungary is a friendly fellow who tells us how to bet. If you are playing numbers you need to put many chips on the board. Your best chance is to stick to red and black. We follow his advice loosely and soon we are out of chips.
On to the next casino. We visit the Luxor and discover that the sun is out again. We still haven’t slept and are riding a serious caffeine high. We walk the Strip and go in for more money wasting at the Paris. Past the Opera and under the Arc de Triomphe, we are now playing roulette at the foot of the eiffel tower. ‘So what do you think?’ asks Scott the croupier when he hears I’m from Paris. Well not bad actually, shrinking several centuries of culture and shoving them into a vacant lot in an unfinished strip mall in the desert is a difficult task and you guys did it with just enough taste to make me want to waste some money here.
A few minutes later we are out of cash, waiting for a table at ballys. It is almost 8 am and we are just in time to catch the ribeye and eggs deal for 4.99. The place is packed with early morning diners and it seems most tables are getting the same thing we are. The food is atrocious and every other item on the menu is ridiculously expensive. We need the grease and the sugar to fuel our body through this ordeal and the food seems to fit the surroundings.
A short walk in the blistering nine o’clock heat and we are in the Caesar. Here we make a last stand, a last desperate attempt to build an empire of riches. We each find a quarter in our pockets and scrounge a couple from the fountain. With a dollar to our name we hit the penny machines hoping to move up progressively to the quarters and on to the tables. Sadly our dreams are annihilated by the merciless one arm bandit.
Shirtless and sweaty in the parking garage of Excalibur. I have the propane stove set up a reasonnable distance from the car. I am hoping security won’t trouble us for what is probably a huge fire hazard. I am cooking up another pot of coffee to get us out of town. We are starting to crash, the heat is burning our brains and we haven’t made a coherent reasonable sentence in hours. Stephen has opened his computer on the top of the car and is typing away. I have a coffee in one hand and a beer in the other and I am pacing around the mostly empty garage hoping to create a breeze. My brain is still amazed at how ugly and useless the city is.
Finally we pack our stuff away and get out of the parking lot. We get lost one last time before getting on the interstate and speeding our way out of the hell hole.
Stephen is crashing rapidly, he is about to collapse but the last coffee is still kicking his head in. We find a green spot on the map and drive there hoping to find shade. Now to the reader this may sound absurd, finding shade in the suburbs of Las Vegas, but in our twisted exhausted brains it seemed perfectly normal that we might find shade in what the map called a national forest. We drive off the interstate and up a dirt road until we find a gravel parking lot and accept that we won’t find shade anywhere near here. We open the doors for breeze, set up a reflector for shade and shut our eyes for the first time in thirty hours.
Amargosa springs, Nevada. This is the last town before california. There’s a couple of gas stations, a bar, a casino and a fireworks store. Stephen has an urge to gamble and I have an urge to drink. It is roughly 110 degrees outside and a hot wind is burning my eyes. After satisfying both our needs we cross over to California and head over to Death Valley for the evening. Stephen thought it would be a good place to stop on our way to the eastern side of the Sierra Nevada.
Death Valley is a beautiful place, and hot. Stinking hot. 120 by day and a balmy 97 at night.
10 pm. It is still over a hundred degrees, the sun went down two hours ago. The sky is perfectly clear and the stars are out. I have all the time in the world to enjoy them now as I lay in my boxers on the picnic table. I am ready for some real sleep after 38 hours of heat, coffee, human stupidity and natural beauty.
One Response to “No fear but plenty of loathing”
Leave a Reply
Blog at WordPress.com.
Theme: Monotone by Automattic.
[...] Las Vegas was such a special place, that despite having an excellent time, it is one of the few places I don’t care if I ever visit again. [...]